The Choir Performance

Autumn's 8th grade choir performance was nice- such beautiful singing.  She looked gorgeous and even put tinted lip gloss on without me asking! She's getting to be such a young lady. 

Daddy was busy working, so I took both boys with me to watch Autumn. Joey was perfect, quiet and curious. Jimmy was obnoxious and loud. 

Between the 6th grade songs he would cough and yawn LOUDLY so the whole auditorium could hear. He kept kicking the seat in front of us and squirming.  At one point, he turned around to the seats behind us and told this nice lady he liked her shirt. As she said "Thank you" he reached and grabbed these flowers on her breasts...pretty much groping her and exclaimed "pretty!" before I could stop him. . She was very understanding, bless her. 

We got to listen to one of Autumn's songs, but then right before her second song started, Jimmy started yelling "I can't see Autumn, I can't see her!" Then he yells "I WANT A BURRITO AND ICECREAM!!" He was making a total scene; so I grabbed him and headed up the isle towards the exit.

In the silent Auditorium he yells "mommy don't spank me!! Don't spank me mommy!! Please!!" Laughter erupts as I hurry our pace. "Mommy! Don't! Spank! Me!!!"

 

 

 

 

 

What KIND of baby IS THIS?!?

 

One of my favorite morning snuggle-tickle games: 

I stand over Joey and exclaim:

"What kind of baby is this?!??  What KIND of baby IS THIS??!!"

(He starts to smile really big and kick his legs excitedly)

Then I kiss his belly and blow raspberries on his tummy between asking- 

"Is it a baby monkey??" 

(Kiss! Then he giggles)

"Is it a baby puppy??!!" (Raspberry! More baby giggles)

"Noooooo....it's a baby Joey!!"

(Lots of kisses and tickles and he laughs and laughs)

Do cats eat cheesecake?

One of life's greatest questions had just been answered: 

"Do cats eat cheesecake?"

ANSWER:  yes, yes they do 

 

 

Jimmy talks about "Bullets"

Jimmy says randomly, 

"Mom you got big bullets!  Big big biiiiig BULLETS!"

(Bullets is his word for boobs. I have no clue where this came from)

Jimmy continued, "...My bullets are smaller, like Daddy's, his are smaller too!  And Joey has small bullets.

But your bullets are big, Mama!  They are gonna grow and keep growwwwing!  To the top of the house!  And grow bigger and BIGGER all the way up to the MOON!"

 

Joey's getting in the Halloween spirit

 

I really need to feed my 4 year old more often.  My poor fall decor! 

 

 

"hell day" AKA "No Boob Day"

Today is my EGD procedure, a pre-op requirement for my bariatric surgery in December.  Which is no big deal EXCEPT I'm not allowed to breast feed for 24 hours after.  I just found this out so I have no breast milk pumped.  But even with breast milk,  Joey refuses to take a bottle.  He won't even take a pacifier.  I AM his bottle and his pacifier.  And now I must shatter his world for 24 hours: no boobie.  

My poor Joey!!  I've compiled a "hell day" kit for Joey.  I hope between the two kinds of formula, sippy cups, pacifiers and bottles, that he will make do somehow.

Oh and I got him a new toy.... to ease his pain. 

 

Vocabulary Word of the Day

At the doc office, I was talking about how I wanted to make sure something didn't exacerbate a condition. My hubby said, "you mean exaggerate".  I said, no "exacerbate, as in make something worse?"  He and the nurse both said they never heard that word used before. 

So, I looked it up to see if I was nuts. And it appears I do know what I'm talking about!  

So people, if you are not familiar with this word, take a look and learn:

***ex‧a‧cer‧bate [transitive]

to make a bad situation worse:

The recession has exacerbated this problem.

 I don't want to exacerbate the situation.***

 source: http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/exacerbate

 

wear sneakers when herding a preschooler

This is what happens when your 4 year old bolts in a parking lot, you run after him, you are wearing flip flops, and you stumble over a large rock.  By the way, the Bactine spray  lies on its packaging. That shit DOES sting. Oh my GOD does it sting!  That is all. 

 

 

I want to be a serial killer drag queen for Halloween.  However, I am not sure how to pull off being a woman who looks like a man that is dressed as a woman....  

spooky spider webs for Halloween!

Putting spiderweb up with rough eczema fingertips is some tricky sh!t. I was getting mad as it kept clinging to my rough fingers and almost gave up. Not as nice as I wanted but it'll have to do. Bastard fingers. Ugh!

 

it has begun!! :-))

Got the half bath decorated. Now I need to clean some more so I can decorate the rest of the house.  I love the fall!! I love Halloween!!! Yay!!!!

 

 

 
 

love this new show! Brooklyn Nine-Nine

For those of us still trying to fill the hole in our hearts that Reno 911 left, there is a new police comedy show on Fox that may come close to filling that void. 

Brooklyn Nine-Nine's Pilot episode aired last night, and I was not disappointed.  The comedy was spot-on, and I enjoyed all the characters as well.  So freakin' funny!  So friends, set your DVRs for this one!  You will not be disappointed. 

http://www.fox.com/brooklyn-nine-nine/

http://www.fox.com/brooklyn-nine-nine/

 

Vaseline

So... I HAVE to have Chapstick or Vaseline on my lips when I sleep. I don't know why, but I CANNOT sleep if my lips feel dry.  I always keep some Chapstick or Vaseline near the bed for if I wake up at night, to reapply.  

Well, last week Joey was sick for 4-5 days and I took his temp alot.   Rectal temp, where I would dip "his thermometer" into "his Vaseline," and take his temp.  I'd rinse it and wipe it after, but not sanitize it or anything.... Then the next time I needed a temp, I'd jab it in his jar of Vaseline and do it again. 

Well, last night I woke up several times, my Chapstick ran out so I just grabbed my jar of Vaseline on my nightstand each time I woke up.   

This morning I saw Joey's thermometer laying next to it and realized what I had reapplied to my lips over and over was not my vaseline....it was Joey's special thermometer butt hole Vaseline! Noooooo! 

 

where's my phone?!??

Daddy came home and laid down on the couch after work.  I realized I couldn't find my phone anywhere.  I looked for a while, then we watched Tv.  

Later, we went upstairs to brush our teeth.  I was about to use his phone to call my phone... But as he bent over the sink I saw his back and took these pictures instead.  

Yeah, I figured out where my phone was. 

 

 

my rocketeers

Autumn (13) got the song "Rocketeer" with her iTunes gift card from the tooth fairy.  

She put her earphones in and sang along "take my hand!! Close your eyes!!"

Jimmy (4) walks up to her and puts his hand on hers and squeezes his eyes shut.

I just had a meal of adorable baby cheeks. I ate em all up! So scrumptious!  #lovemyjoey

 

Two new ghost shows!

"Ghost Bait" and "Stalked by a Ghost" is on tonight on bioHD!  Whoo hoo!  DVR is set!

My hubby thinks it's weird I like paranormal shows so much. I just think they are entertaining.  It's my favorite type of show to watch.  Just like his favorite thing to watch is football.  

He loves watching every football game he can and I don't call him weird for that.  I mean how is a man watching sweaty strong men in butt hugging tights jump all over each other in pursuit of a ball any stranger than me watching shows about ghosts?  For reelz

Ghost Mine

I like this show and love love love the theme song!  Too bad it's only a song written for the show intro. I'd totally buy the album! 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S1GjyYju0gA&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DS1GjyYju0gA

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=S1GjyYju0gA&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DS1GjyYju0gA

The bathroom discovery

 

 

 

That moment when you have to cut a conversation short because your arm hurts from holding your cell phone to your ear.  

Either I'm weak or you talk too damn much. 

 Status: Redneck.  

Jimmy keeps taking his clothes off, so I give up. He has his undies on backwards so he can see the Cars cartoon better, has followed my husband out to the front yard, and is playing in full view of passersby. 

 I'm inside nursing Joey and hiding my shame. Lol. 

Yes. My 4 year old is playing in the front yard, wearing nothing but his backwards underwear.  

#2 WLS PRE-Op appt. - fasting blood draw today!

Fasting blood draw today at 1pm.  I am so f*ing hungry that I can't sleep.   Hungry hungry hungry !! 

It's my #2 weight loss surgery appointment today.  I'm having the gastric sleeve (hopefully) in December. 

I am 271lbs, 5'9, 32 years old and sooo ready to get healthy for good.  

I've always been a big girl, and my weight has been a issue all the way back to elementary school.  I'm hoping this surgery will give me the "edge" to win my battle against being a fat-ass.  

It's going to be a tough road, lots of lifestyle changes.  I am a self-proclaimed sugar addict.  Twizzler, pie, and cake lover.  And contrary to popular belief, this surgery is not a easy way out.  Nothing about cutting out 80% of your stomach and following a strict diet for the rest of your life is easy.  So STFU nay sayers.  I swear I get as much shit about having this surgery done as Michael Jackson got for bleaching his skin and imploding his face with nose jobs. 

But anywho- today I have a super fun blood draw and a million thrills per minute psych evaluation to go with my pre-surgery check up.  Not sure what the psychological evaluation is for exactly.  I sure hope being bat-shit crazy wont keep me from having the surgery *wink wink* 

I smell like sour milk and B.O. 

 Must. Have. Shower.

here we go again...

Jimmy was sick last week, and now at 2am this morning Joey starts running a fever.  My poor baby!

Great day for it too, as I was supposed to help at Jimmy's school field trip and have to take Autumn and Jimmy to the dentist today.  We have had to wait months for these dental appointments. It's like kids plan for the worst day possible...

 No more sick kids, pretty please? 

 

the doll room

Visiting my grandma and my sick grandpa this weekend. 

I love you grandma, but the creepy doll room is.... Creepsy. And the doll head tissue box watching over me as I sleep looks like chucky's sister  ((shudder))   

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Anybody ever lay on your back next to your baby in bed while checking Facebook...and accidentally drop your phone on your baby's head?  Yeah, sorry Joey. My bad. 

it's a burrito emergency...

So, we called the nurse line with some symptoms my 4 year old has and they told us to take him to the ER.

Before our hour and a half drive to the ER, I grabbed some burritos at Taco Bell.  We made it here and Jimmy took a couple bites, said he was done, and I threw it away. 

After we got checked in he wanted his burrito back.  I told him it was thrown away since he said he was done.  Wrong Answer.

So for the past hour and a half in the waiting room he screamed and cried inconsolably "I want my burrito!! I want my burrito bacccck!" Waaaaaaaaa!

I'm sitting here thinking we don't need the ER, we need to be at Taco Bell. Lol

"I WANT MY BURRITOoooo!!!"

I love breast feeding and co-sleeping!!

I love the way Joey automatically searches for my boob when I lay down in bed next to him to co-sleep. If I don't have a bra on, he'll go ahead and latch on before I even get settled and comfortable.  Like there's a magnet in my boob.  I look down and he's already nursing away. 

Guess thats why hubby calls my boobies "the docking station"

It's funny. I'll both plug my phone in to the outlet, and secure my baby onto my boob to recharge for the night. 

important questions in life...

Chocolate or poop?? 

 

It may be time to consider hiring a tutor when your 8th grader includes "LOL" in her thesis for a English paper.  

God has plans...

I saw this inspirational post on my Facebook newsfeed.  I thought the words were true enough, but I found more suitable images to go with them.